Seasoned women: What advice can you give to teenage girls, concerning guys and what to look for in them?

Question is pretty straight-forward. Here it is again: Seasoned women: What advice can you give to teenage girls, concerning guys and what to look for in them?





Obviously I'll get some answers like ';oh, he has to be compassionate.. and sweet.. and handsome..'; but I want to see more than that. An example --%26gt; A guy that is good to his mother will be good to his wife.





Put your thinking caps on.Seasoned women: What advice can you give to teenage girls, concerning guys and what to look for in them?
Hi, I've kissed a lot of frogs in my day so therefore I think this is exactly my area of expertise.





Make sure he has a similar religion to yours, all kinds of problems can result if you are Christian (for instance) and he is something else.





Lying and cheating and battering (be it physical or mental), I do not put up with at all (anymore), but I had to learn that the hard way. Save yourself the trouble, by observing closely if he has these tendencies. If you see he does, then dump him like a hot potato immediately, because that behavior is in his genes and CANNOT change (even for you), no matter how much he professes his love or commitment to you, he will never change, because he CANNOT HELP IT!!!





Watch C %26amp; I - A LOT - it will put enough fear in you to make you extra careful about how you meet guys. Always meet in a PUBLIC area and never go home with them or take them home until you are absolutely sure what you are dealing with. Never give out your telephone numbers or home/ work address until you are absolutely sure what you are dealing with. Im my youth it was still safe to do so but not anymore.





Read the book: ';He's Just Not That Into You';, the author was on the Oprah show a while back. His thoughts are right on target!





DO a proper study of his family before you get involved, if his family are awful, you will always hit your head against a brick wall, especially if he is dead loyal to them and not you.





Check out his relationship with his mother in particular. If she has too much of a hold on him or he is having a problem letting go of her apron strings, then you are going to run into another kind of brick wall. Steer well clear of ';Mummy's Boys';.





Find out ahead of time if he ever wants to have children, to avoid disappointment later. See how he is with children and animals.





If he takes drugs or drinks like a fish that is going to be unlikely to change and neither will you ever be able to change that, because they just get more and more addicted. Trust me, I KNOW all the problems and pitfalls that come with that. Your life is turned upside down in such a relationship, because the man's whole personality changes for the worse whenever under the influence or high, and the man does nasty things he wouldn't normally do if he was clean.





I tried a relationship across the colour bar (which proves I am not racist). For me it didn't work, because our two cultures were too different. His culture was very drug and gangster orientated and my culture was very drug free and law abiding. Steer well clear of gangsters, or the mob, your whole life with become a mess if you hang around with that.





Most relationships fall apart because of money. Check out if he is a miser or if he spends his money like it's coming out of fashion. Either way it won't help you in the future. He needs to be balanced and sensible/ reasonable in this area.





If you have more questions or you want more advice feel free to e-mail me, as I have loads of experience with men.Seasoned women: What advice can you give to teenage girls, concerning guys and what to look for in them?
Girls are often attracted to the 'dangerous' type of guy, the boy who's the rebel and has a bad attitude toward authority. At the risk of freaking out the feminists, the reason lies in the feminine desire to have a strong, more domineering mate. But reality is that these are usually the guys who are the losers in school and in life. So you have to set your sites higher is you want a better chance at a better life. So avoid the losers and go for the guys who care about education, their appearance and have high standards. Start dating losers and you'll end up married to one and clawing your way through life.
Don't just look at the surface by noticing how good looking he is. Yes, young guys are cute and attractive, but try to see behind the flesh and bones. Try to see how they cope in an extreme situation Do they buckle under pressure, or do they lose their temper, or run away. Are they brave? Will they stand up to a bullying person? Will they take pity on a poor person who is begging in the street? Will they help an elderly woman cross the road? Will they keep their promises or will they break them and then make poor excuses for having broken them? You have to be an astute observer!
I hang out on YA in the relationship departments because I find the questions and answers very interesting.


What I have observed is that most people are just clueless about the opposite sex.


Finding our mate should happen after we find ourselves. We need to make sure that we are doing the right things in life so that we attract the right type of people to our mix. If you are doing the wrong things, then you will surely attract the wrong guy or gal.






Not much to add but how does he treat authority -





Parents


School


Governments - all levels





Is he up to the challenge of making changes? The world is not a constant.





What is his work ethic?





How is he around little kids and animals?





And was mentioned, how does he treat other females in his life - mother, sisters, grandmothers, etc.





Is he flirty with others when with you? A BIG NO-NO.





Does he have a sense of humor?





And is his mind above the gutter? VERY IMPORTANT.
Um correction just because a guy is good to his mommy doesn't mean he wont try to kill his GF! Psycho has taught me well. As long as he has a job and a car and doesn't still call his mom...mommy then you go for him! The shy quiet guys are the freakiest! The ones that look really really hot are either gay or full of themselves or harbor many STD's. Go for the guy that is laid back and funny but knows how to be a little serious too.
Well I guess Id advise a teenage girl to look for a guy that wasnt constantly trying to get in her knickers or use her as a ';trophey'; girlfriend, and to go for a guy that whilst might not be the coolest or hottest guy in school - but one that would treat her with respect.


xx
I think it's been pretty much covered now, PP - particularly well by Angelmusic, in my opinion, since she skipped the waffle and got right to several very salient points.


It only remains for me to give you that star, mate!
I'd say go out with a guy who will respect you for your morals and treats you with respect. Don't get some drop out who has nothing to offer you but what is in his pants.
Inner Happiness - Bigger dick than wallet.


Material Happiness - Bigger wallet than dick.






hmmm, well he has to make me laugh :D


PS. i love Peter Petrelli, lol Heroes rocks!!
Not sure I fully answer the description ';seasoned woman'; since I'm only 30, but maybe I'm not *that* long out of my teens and that'll help :)





Teenage girls are very sensitive to looks. Which isn't a bad thing, but obviously you have to see a bit further than that. He mainly I think needs to be kind.


Kindness and respect are the most important things at that age. You're not looking for a life partner, but you need someone who respects you.


Around 14/15, boys will obviously start thinking about sex, in my experience girls take a little longer. So if he does anything you're not comfortable with, make him stop. If he gets in a mood, or threatens to dump you if you don't have sex with him, run away!!! It's the sign of a controlling personality, and that's never a good thing.


He should also respect your tastes and choices. He should like you for who you are, so even if he doesn't like the same music, he shouldn't tell you off for liking what you like. He shouldn't try to change the way you dress either: you are who you are, and clothes are a big part of someone's personality. If he says: I don't think this suits you, then fine, he's merely expressing an opinion. If he says: you look like a tramp in this: not fine!


He should also like (or at least get on with) you friends. If your friends don't like him, it's a bad sign, especially if you've known your friends for a long time, they know you very well and can tell if someone is making you unhappy.


Going back to the ';sex'; problem, there is no right or wrong thing to do, as long as you're ok with it. If you're ok with him touching your boobs, then why not; if you're ok touching him, fine. But never EVER ever do anything you're not comfortable with. If he gets angry, leave him. Your body is important, and your needs come first, not his. He should understand that if he really likes you. Sex is a very important part of later relationships, and bad experiences when you're young can affect your sex life later. Wait until you're ready, and only do it with someone you like and trust, preferably someone you've been with for a little while, who understands and likes you. If your friends are doing it, if his friends are doing it, it doesn't matter. People mature at different rates.





There we go, that was my bit of advice. I think others have said interesting things as well, so I won't repeat them :)